nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I intend to get homeless drunk
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
