i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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