You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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