I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So many bounce houses so little time
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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