It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
