How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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