I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
