Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
why is half of my head shaved?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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