We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
