if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
