He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
