Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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