she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
