If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
