I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
