Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
