I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
