I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
