you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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