sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
