We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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