You're a womanizer and a bitch.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
