A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize