Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize