Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize