When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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