i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
