I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
