my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
