I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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