My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
These tits shall not be calmed
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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