This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
