It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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