When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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