I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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