i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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