Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I would ride that face into the sunset
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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