i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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