you turned your livingroom into a bong?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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