I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
