I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
