You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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