loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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