Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
