We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
