He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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