mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
