Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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