If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize