He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
