I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
