I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
