If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Never joke about your clitoris.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
