actually, I'm a sock model
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
