no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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