My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
