Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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