My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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