god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
