So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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