I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
