Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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