"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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