just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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