They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
