My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
