yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
