Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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